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The air was thin and piercing, it was all around me. it seemed to poke me from everywhere. a gush of odourless ,chilly wind sashayed through my hair blowing the strands of my hair into odd places. i took a deep breath in and let out a long one out, though it almost seemed like a sigh. my caudroy coat did’nt seem to keep me warm anymore, my ripped jeans felt stiff and cold. i could not feel my toes anymore. one more step forward and i would be lurching at the unseen, i looked down, forty storeys down, the city seemed to flourish beneath my numb feet. thousands of cars in the freeway, floodsof lights from the swanky hotels and celebrity donned billboards. they seemed to be pointing towards me, mocking at me, laughing at me. noise, lights, people everywhere, i felt so suffocated then. the night seemed to have been taken over by this association of people, too ambitious to give into sleep and rest. another strong wind brought me back from my thoughts to the edge, where i now stood ready to give my life away to the hustling street below. would it be a painless death, just a bang…splitting pain that would last no more than a second? or would it be painful, then my body parts would be splattered everywhere. i shivered at the thought and pused my straying strands behind my ears. i stepped down from the edge. i could not kill myself that night, i was too scared. maybe it was just the alchohol that had replaced my bodily fluids for a moment. still a little dizzy, i put on my shoes, pulled my jeans a little higher and walked towards the staircase. i felt a tinge of embarassment. the same air around me seemed to look at me in disgust, the bricks seemed to scorn at me and the occasional gushes of winds laughed at me as i tried to walk faster. i was scared to give away my life that night and iam happy i made that decision!